This morning, I napped while my daughters attended their bat mitzvah lessons. I’ve been exhausted after watching just about every bar-mitzvah themed TV episode ever produced (though some of them at 4x speed, just because the shows themselves were so stupid). Nonetheless, this exercise has revealed to me one important fact: the bar mitzvah is the only ethnic ceremony in the universe not depicted in Star Trek.

Now, television, over the years, has become much more relaxed about the bnot mitzvah. Culminating in the recent “Karen does her first bar mitzvah” episode of Smash. (Which reminds me, I need to make sure everyone who’s coming to my girls’ bnot mitzvah knows the words to “Hava Nagila” so they sing it.)

One of my favorite TV-watching activities is to figure out the inaccuracies and inconsistencies, especially as it applies to real-life culture. Here are some notable bar-mitzvah episodes:

Frasier evokes strong memories for me. Back in the day, we used to record episodes on VHS. And then I went over to my parents’ and put on Frasier and worked late into the night on their Windows computer—mine ran Linux—practicing designing 3D scenes. My idea was to create a computer game about a haunted school building, but the problem was that I had no idea what the hell I was doing.

Now, I waste time watching Frasier on Netflix, and I drink for all the stupid, idiotic stuff—drink coffee if I want to get wired or wine if I want to get smashed, and this show is rich enough to accomplish either!