Now that it’s a new year, Fridays I’ll still post something that is (supposed to be) humorous. These posts are furthermore still tagged “Friday Fun,” even though I’m no longer including the “Friday Fun” tag in the subject.

There’s a game I play sometimes while I’m driving, called “SUV, Not SUV.” Because I bet there’s some sound, psychological explanation why people who drive SUV’s are more likely to be assholes behind the wheel.

The rules of the game are pretty straightforward: whenever another vehicle cuts you off, you say “SUV” if it was an SUV, or “Not SUV,” if it wasn’t. Then you count how many of each you got and marvel at how many Not-SUV’s there were.

I have a dream, in which millions of people start posting messages like “1 #SUV, 3 #NotSUV” on Twitter. I’m such a geek.

Of course, even in a game as simple and straightforward as this, there are edge-cases. The rule is that “cut off” means that the other vehicle pulled in front of you, or threatened to do so, in such a way that you had to apply your breaks or swerve to avoid a collision. And it only counts if you yourself were not breaking traffic laws at the time, like running a red light, or going 50 in a 25-mile-an-hour zone. And you can only blame the other driver if he’s really doing something that he could be cited for, were there an accident.

Let’s practice: